Entrusted Living

How precious are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Healing Endometriosis

September 2016 trip to Oregon Coast
Just a few years ago, I could never have imagined that this would be my life. That I would be healthy, living in South America and maturing into a beautiful woman of faith. This is a message of hope. This is a snapshot testimony off the life I used to live and the proclamation of miraculous change. I cured my Endometriosis through a raw foods diet; I harnessed drive and will power to heal with kindness, patience and perseverance.

The doctors diagnosed my condition as Endometriosis in 2007. Now, I have completely reversed it and no longer have any symptoms! Endometriosis is considered an auto-immune disease. Conditions are put into this category when there is a  lack of understanding and knowing its root cause, origin and cure. An auto-immune disease is considered a condition in which your body attacks itself. What I  discovered over the past 2 1/2 years healing through detox on a raw vegan diet is that this is not the case. My body is not attacking itself. The symptoms of the condition present themselves as an alert mechanism. They are signs our body gives us to inform us that something isn't right. It is Arnold Ehert who says that there is no disease there is only mucus! The raw vegan diet is a detox, it focuses on elimination. Through elimination one is able to get in touch with the cause of the effect. Further one is able to eliminate blockage and build up, clean the body and allow for proper flow.

Endometriosis is typified by symptoms of chronic fatigue, chronic pain, abnormal bleeding, debilitating menstrual pain, inflammation, exaggerated pms, extreme mood swings, heightened emotions and often infertility. This is just to name the main symptoms that present themselves. Endometrial scare tissue is said to be the cause and will build over time and symptoms worsen. There were two options offered to me: birth control or medication and usually a surgery is the end result with intentions to remove the scare tissue and thus the problem. Surgery is not a guarantee for any change at all and this proved to be true in my cause also. I always had a negative attitude toward western practices but found myself in a place of fear and confusion. I had a need to change my life circumstances. There is no way to describe the terrifying and torturous amount of pain this condition comes with. When my period came my body was wracked with excruciating pain; I would black out, throw up, scream for help for hours. Crippled from the pain pulsating, stabbing, tearing me apart from my womb, it would spread down my thighs, pool and stagnate in my lower back and climb higher. I could hardly walk, sit or lay down. There is no comfort to be found when you exist in this physical state of being for hours, even days on end unrelenting. Endometriosis is at its worst during the menstrual cycle but it never leaves you and keeps a steady grip on you the entire month. I was on prescriptions daily and monthly. I had tried every natural remedy I could find years before turning to doctors and medication.

I relied on medicinal Marijuna with high cbd strains along with the prescriptions. I was daily dosed,  drugged and out of touch with my life. The truth is that these drugs, all of them were only suppressants. I knew this. They could not heal me, they could only help me escape. This knowledge alone furthered my lost and hopeless state of mind. I was only adding toxins to my body, I wasn't being cured. How would I heal and over come this while continually feeding it?

This wasn't living. This wasn't even surviving. All I knew was pain.

How did I get here? Why was this happening? I felt abandoned by God. I felt helpless and given to wallowing in my depressed circumstances. I had believed that I was trying everything I could to heal. I was seeing the doctors. I was visiting therapists and physical therapist. I began an stuck to a paleo diet, high in animal fats for over 5 years. I was reading on nutrition and leaky gut, I even tried the GAPS diet. I was strong in my yoga practice and had a daily and intense exercise routine. I was desperate. My health continued to decline. I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. Eventually it came to the point of surgery in 2015. I was so sad and distraught. How could I do this to my body? All my decisions where coming from the thought of  'I just want this to go away!'

I was on the right track: diet, physical health, mental and emotional healing but there was one area that I was lacking. I don't recall ever praying to God or turning to the word for comfort and support. I stagnated in my misery. I stagnated in awful thoughts lacking self love such as 'I'm useless, I'm ugly, my womb is dead, I have no value, my body is telling me that I am not needed in this world.'  I was so obsessed with trying to overcome this from a controlling and manipulative place and completely unwilling to turn to God. I was still lacking real love and care for my being and wasn't listening.

God had always been with me even though I had turned my face away from him. Finally it was time, time to truly heal. I decided to get to nature and ended up camping in a little wooded forest outside a pasture for a summer. I met a family while encouraging the notion of hiking the PCT with a pack mule. They invited me into their home, feed me and taught me about the animals. I was shocked by the christian generosity that seemed naturally to flow from their hearts. I brought only one book with me, my bible. I had felt a calling in my heart to come into the word and read the gospels. I needed Jesus. I needed to know who he was and the importance of his death and life. I felt a voice saying 'follow me'.

I answered the call. I was changing spiritually but still plagued by my condition. Now I had more hope in my heart. Through a string of events I moved to Lost Valley Education Center in Dexter Oregon. It was clear to me that I had emotional and traumatic healing that urgently needed attention. I was waking up. I had no foundation for self love and recognized my constant pursuit of external things to distract me, fill me, love me. It was God I heard calling me to step into my power. He urged me do my inner work, heal and be the woman I had been running away from for so long. His love for me was an encouragement. 'You Kimberly, learn how to love yourself, know your value, own your worth, Seize your life!'

Now awake and walking my path there was no turning back. Everything seemed to unfold perfectly though maybe not so comfortably with each day. In 2016 I met the bestest of friends. I was able to hear the truth he offered. He reminded me to put God first, to commit to my inner work building love, stability and character. A great comradery sprouted in which we could encourage and support each other stepping deeper into and living a raw vegan lifestyle. It was a choice of conscious living as much as conscious eating.

Fruit haul summer 2016 Lost Valley
Eating a raw vegan diet allows the being to fully awaken. It requires an individual step into consciousness with every aspect of life. It sets in motion the ability to heal the heart, mind and spirit along with the body. Within days of eating a raw vegan diet I began experiencing the joys of life again! There was life in my eyes, I was laughing and smiling! I was tromping through the woods, climbing trees and riding bikes! My symptoms seemed to dissipate so quickly, I dared within that first week to completely  leave my medication behind in my old life.


Fruit haul summer 2017 Fruit Haven
I took what my friend offered and made it my own. I took charge of my life and my own great health! I stepped into a raw vegan diet and didn't look back. I researched and experimented. I went through healing crisis and cravings. I gave attention to my being and learn what foods caused what symptoms, thoughts and emotions. I was seeing more clearly. I understood that the energy I surrounded myself with and imbued my being with played a major role in my illness. I understood that my body was telling me through these signs that there were obstructions and I needed to detox, allow lymph to flow, love to flow, life to flow. I began speaking to my body words of love, I no longer abandoned myself and let my being know I was here. I opened my arms to my shadow selves, allowing myself to be exactly where I was at on my journey, accepting me as I am.


Through growing closer to God, doing my inner work and maintaining a raw vegan diet, I changed the circumstances of my life. I said yes to life! I opened up the doors to full health and every possibility. I actively pursue a higher quality of life. I pursue it everyday, every moment! Now, I no longer associate with the illness. After 2 1/2 years being raw vegan I no longer have any symptoms throughout the month or on my period. NONE. This is a miracle and a blessing! The consciousness and power I gained by choosing life and God are so valuable to me. I have come along way in healing my relationship with my body, with food, with my heart and mind.  I believe there does come a point when we no longer associate with a 'healing journey'. We resolve the drama needed to learn and enjoy the blessings and gifts, challenges and adventures!

We are always cycling through areas that need attention in our being. I had been focused on establishing a healthy relationship with food and a stable routine over the past few years and now it is in a place that will build on itself and flow out evolving as I evolve. My heart and mind are asking for attention. I come again to a place on this spiritual journey were I am being turned to God to draw closer to him. With desire to step further into my muchness I set intentions. I am active in moving toward my visions and I allow the universe to flow and Gods will to be done. In every moment of life is an opportunity to see deeper, go deeper, learn, evolve, love, vibrate and be.

Our lives can change in the trajectory of a moment. Choice, intention, faith, perseverance. God is speaking to us all, he wants all the best things for us and he is using everything to work together for our good. I ponder that it is because I went through this great time of suffering that I am able to appreciate what I have now. I sense that My life had a time of great sorrow to come into a time of great joy and abundance. Once you step out on the path and experience new health, the fulfillment of being in self love and the awakened mind through connection with God  - there is no going backwards.

I have been blessed with new life and feel much like a prodigal daughter returned. Every good thing my Father bestows and more as I demonstrate my character. He is proud of me. Proud that I am honoring my life, respecting and loving my being, that I happily walk my path and am so grateful to receive what he offers. Shine your brightest and soak up everything good in your life! Every moment is special and goes like a vapor in the wind. Live! Let us exult in our tribulations knowing that tribulations bring perseverance, and perseverance brings about proven character and proven character brings about hope. And hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out with in our hearts.

Fin.

Thank you for sharing some of my experiences and what I have been learning on my life journey. There are so many of us suffering and there is comfort in knowing we are not alone and that we are capable of changing our circumstances. Life is a choice! Say yes! Health is a choice! Say yes! Living in accordance with God is a choice! Say yes! Say yes to loving yourself! If your health and quality of life is in peril what do you have to lose!? I promise you that your life will change if you truly desire it. The path for you to travel may have its deep valleys but it also has magnificent vistas and the destination that awaits is worth all the heart and perseverance. We find that the end is really only the beginning again. However we've changed as the journeyer. How wonderful and limitless the world and life is!  Build yourself up. Start with what you have which are the dreams, visions and aspirations. Make a plan of action, things within reach and take one step at a time. Start making choices that are in line with your higher self. Be the person you see in your visions.

There were so many times I felt like giving up, I cried and hurt but I keep choosing. Even now I still must choose. I am active in this life and the littlest choices create me. Get comfortable with uncertainty, start enjoying the challenge and letting go of that which does not serve you - learn the difference. Hope, turn to God, cry, moan, laugh, sing, run around, try new things, find what fills you with joy, serve others, feel everything, be present with everything, let go of control and surrender to the flow of the universe, it knows the place you want to go. Be active even in the surrender and receptivity, allow God to move in your life. Be willing to change the course of your life through presence and patience, courage and endurance - stay the course.  Captain the helm and let the sea do its thing!  Have fun with it!

One day you will wake up from one dream and find yourself in another. Make sure that dream is one you want to be dreaming. The one you'd dreamed all along.



She Let's Go

Every leaf falling from the tree
seems more real than anything else ever has.
How simple and beautiful life is.
Effortlessly in flow, they let go.
They do not even know the word surrender.
The leaves do not think to where they will go.
They go, and are taken where they are taken


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